Hot Dogs

When it comes to the simple things in life, I am inflexible.

Hot Dog Rules

Only Oscar Mayer wieners may be used. Wieners - not Franks, ever. They are to be cut lengthwise but not all the way through, so that the halves open, something like a book. Skin-side up, they are to be cooked in butter in a skillet over a medium flame.

Only top-sliced hot dog buns may be used. These are, I believe, a New England peculiarity, and even here they are never as easy to find as the "regular" kind. The whole point of the top-sliced bun is that its sides can be smeared with butter and toasted, right in the pan alongside the dogs. (I substitute Benecol for the butter.) The buns are to be separated using a breadknife - and don't forget to saw off a bit of the outside ends of the row.

The only permissible condiment is Heinz Hot Dog Relish. Obviously!

The result is a crisp, chewy, and robust sandwich - not chewing gum wrapped in soggy paper towels. (Now, why didn't I take a picture before I ate lunch. (June 2006)

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