Daily Blague

No more walking sticks!

How'd I forget to mention that last week? I've stopped carrying a walking stick. I don't remember when I began taking a walking stick with me whenever I left the building, but it was more than five years ago. The stick was very reassuring, because I was afraid of tripping on uneven pavement. I felt very weak and vulnerable for a few years; in fact, I was sick with osteoarthritis. I didn't know that until the symptoms were relieved by Remicade, beginning in the spring of 2004. It didn't take long to realize that I no longer had to worry about tripping and didn't need the cane, but by now I had acquired a very beautiful stick from Paris.

When the beautiful stick from Paris snapped in December - a freak accident - I tried using other, shorter sticks that I'd collected, but they seemed more bother than comfort. The last time I used one was on Christmas night.

I will replace the beautiful stick from Paris the next time I'm in beautiful Paris, which doesn't look to be anytime soon. (I don't foresee any travel until Thanksgiving.) But I won't, at least not immediately, go back to carrying a stick whenever I leave the building. It's very inconvenient, you know, to carry a stick. It ties up one hand completely. When it rained, I had no free hands.

At the same time, I still can't quite believe that I'm stickless when I cross Second Avenue. And nobody offers me a seat on the bus or the subway any more (not that I ever accepted). And one of these days I'm going to curse under my breath when I miss an elevator because I didn't have a stick to wave in front of me - sticks are very good for that, now that most elevators are equipped with motion detectors that keep doors open. The trick is to thrust the stick only so far, so that it doesn't batter an unsuspecting passenger.

And here's a Homeland Security question: why would anybody permit a big guy to get on a plane with a long stick of ebony? I'm sure that I could knock somebody out from behind. Maybe even kill! Doesn't get much blunter and simpler. But no - they're worried about gels...