Daily Blague

During the winter, I saw something in a Levenger catalogue - home of writing porn - that looked too good to be true. It was a library management tool that combined software with a barcode scanner to enable one to compile a library database by doing little more that a bit of barcode scanning. Once possessed of a UPC (universal product code), the software would browse various Internet databases in search of a match, and then download all the information into a table. I held off, dubious. By the time I gave in - there's no way I'm going to catalogue my library without some form of automation - the item had disappeared. Levenger no longer sold a product that had been designed for its label. Too good to be true, indeed.

Whatever Levenger's problems might have been, however, I found that several firms have developed this kind of package. Rather, Kathleen found them. (Kathleen loves to search the Internet.) She sent me half a dozen links and, after nowhere near the appropriate amount of deliberation, I settled on Readerware (despite the look and feel the Web site). It seemed to be the only product that came with a scanner.

The package arrived early this week. I didn't have time to get started with it until Wednesday. I can't say that setup was easy or that getting to know the product was a breeze, but I can't blame Readerware, either; confronted with unfamiliar materials, my brain loses half its IQ in a low-grade panic, and never fails to leap before it looks. It took forever to master the art of swiping the scanner, but eventually I learned that a light touch is the right touch.

Here's how it works: Having created a database file, you click on "Auto Catalog" and choose from a list of sites to search, such as Amazon and Tower Records. Then you proceed to swipe. When the computer recognizes a valid UPC, the software makes a satisfying little pop, and you move on the next entry. I found that working in batches of about thirty DVDs at a time was optimal. When you're through scanning for the time being, you click on a few "Next" buttons and let the browsing begin.

The browsing takes a while, anywhere from fifteen seconds to just over a minute per title. When all the information has been captured, a few more "Nexts" take you to a table of the new entries. This is the time to specify a location. The location field default's position is far to the right of the table, but I had no trouble re-positioning it directly beside the Title field. After all, reason number one for consulting the database is to find out where the hell things are.

The Sorice shelving in the hallway can accommodate about 120 standard DVD cases. I have about five times that many DVDs. When a new DVD enters the collection, either it goes straight into an album from Staples (each album holds 96 discs; the paper jackets and any internal stuff go into a box; the jewel cases get the heave-ho) or it takes the place of a shelved DVD that has just lost a popularity contest. The albums, of which there are four so far, divide the film universe as follows:

I Default: videos that don't belong in one of the other albums.

II Films by Alfred Hitchcock, Stanley Kubrick, James Ivory, and Woody Allen.

III Series (The Pallisers, Inspector Morse).

IV Black-and-white movies made before 1960.

Readerware makes it a snap for me to locate Murder My Sweet (for example) at [Album] IV [Page] 7 [Pocket] A. (It also makes reorganizing the albums from time to time unnecessary.)

I began with DVDs partly because they make up the smallest of my three libraries and partly because they're all the same size. It took less than twenty-four hours to commit every DVD in the house to the computer's memory.

Next up: non-classical CDs.

I am in a daze. Building the database felt like major-league fooling around.