Daily Blague

This just in from the ether. I've no idea of the provenance, but it does sound like Bill Maher, and I don't see why he wouldn't want to take credit for it.

C'mon, Mr. President, it's time for you to quit while you're behind.

By:  Bill Maher

America must recall the president.  That's what this country needs: a good old-fashioned California-style recall election complete with petitions, finger-pointing and a ridiculous cast of replacement candidates.

Just like Gray Davis had to do here in California, George W. Bush must now defend his job against...Russell Crowe!  Because at this point, I want a leader who will throw a phone at somebody.   Naomi Campbell can be vice president - only phone throwers, people!

Come on, Mr. President, this can't be fun for you anymore. You can't spend more of our money, because you used it all up. And you can't start another war, because you've used up the troops. And when it comes to reacting to hurricanes, you made your old man look like St. Francis of Assisi.

Your job has turned into the Bush family nightmare:  helping poor black people. The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out and no one's speaking to you --- mission accomplished!

Now it's time to do what you do best:  lose interest and walk away, like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team.  Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?

Oh, I know what you're saying:  "Hey, I've got three more years, and there's so many other things I want to.....touch."  Please don't.

I know. I know.  There's so much left to do:  war with Venezuela, eliminating the sales tax on yachts and diamonds, turning the space program over to the church, handing  healthcare over to Halliburton and Social Security to Fannie Mae, giving embryos the vote.

But none of that's going to happen now.  Why?  Because you're the first American president to lose a whole city.  Jimmy Carter never lost a city.  Herbert Hoover was a lousy president, but he didn't concede an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.

You've performed so poorly you should give yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.  On your watch we've lost almost all of our allies, the budget surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the city of New Orleans.  Maybe you're just not lucky.

I'm not saying you don't love this country.  I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. Yes, God does speak to you.  And he's saying:  "Take a hint."