Daily Blague

¶ Then what happened: Thanks to Harper's, I have found a delightful new Web log, Query Letters I Love, in which "Managerguy" of Hollywood publishes some of the wacky pitches that he receives. Is there something in the water in this country that makes civilians believe that they're "creative" enough to come up with viable movie properties, just like that? The tale told by many of these unintentionally funny paragraphs is there are a lot of would-be writers among the never-been readers.

Every now and then, a pungently autobiographical note is struck:

The Singing Law Student commits suicide in his home. He was rejected by the woman he loved, his psychiatrist, mistreated in the asylum. A parapsychologist moves into the home to encounter his spirit. Researching the link between manic depression and creativity, she brings a guitar with her for him to play.She encounters his spirit and he sings his songs to her which she records. She releases the songs and The Singing Law Student becomes famous. His psychiatrist, the woman who rejected him, and the doctors at the asylum commit suicide upon hearing his voice and his songs throughout society

Who would dream up a suicidal singing law student except a suicidal singing law student with revenge fantasies involving his therapist?

¶ Which looks better on my little pooch, the Svarovski crystal tiara or the pavé charm collar? I'm a big fan of leaving things to the imagination, but in this case I'd love a few pictures.

¶The New York Times editorial is right to direct anger at the subway snafu away from the mayor and toward Governor Pataki, the smiley-faced clown behind most New York dysfunctions. A good governor would call for and effectuate an overhaul of the MTA's governance, with a view to making its management more directly accountable. I still demand the resignation of everybody, but I'll settle for seeing the end of MTA President Lawrence G. Reuter, whose mishandling of the publicity alone identifies him as an incapable civil servant. Sewell Chan and Andy Newman, Times reporters, let the man speak for himself, and he clucks.

Full functionality on both lines, including the ability to run trains in reverse, will still take three to five years to restore at a cost of $25 million to $60 million, Mr. Reuter said. He noted that repairs to the station at Bergen Street in Brooklyn, which was ravaged by a March 1999 fire, were not yet complete. But even when A and C service is revived, the restored signals will be only a refurbishment of the signaling system upon which the agency has relied since 1904. Upgrading and computerizing the entire signal system - as is already being done on one line - would cost billions, Mr. Reuter said.

How about full accountability? Explain, if you can, Mr Reuter, the huge restoration costs: $25 million dollars to repair a room full of switches? Explain why the repairs at the Bergen Street station have required more than five years to complete. Explain, in itemized detail, that idle bit of speculation of "billions." Trust us, we won't be bored.

The lack of a plan to modernize the subway's signal system is a plan to shut the system down.

¶ Wackosphere Update: This from an editorial in today's Wall Street Journal: the relay-switch fire was caused by liberal elites:

No one should expect even the C Train fiasco to cause New York to change; that won't happen until the local political class understands the problem that Messrs. MacMahon and Siegel describe. We do hope, however, that New York's woes will serve as a warning to other parts of the country in danger of succumbing to the same liberal political fate. Californians were descending into a similar mire a couple of years ago with a dysfunctional political class in Sacramento, but they were fortunate to have the initiative process that allowed them to elect an outsider like Arnold Schwarzenegger. New Yorkers are stuck waiting for the C Train.

As Thelma Ridder used to say, "Oh, brudda!" (Thanks, my dear.)